May 19, 2008

If love is not what we have...

fa011763.jpg...then what is it?

Shortly I arrived in Singapore, I found out that Cayenne is in love with Ciel, and Ciel feels somewhat mutual about it. Why? Why have things gone this way? My absence from her side has led her to this? Is my love for her not enough?

I am tired of guessing Ciel's feelings. Tired. So today I told her how I feel. I love her. I love her to the extent that I want her all to myself. I want to grow up to be the man she wants. I want to marry her when we're older. I want to grow old with her.

I am not one to force someone for an answer. I won't ask Ciel who she likes better. But I do pray and hope the guy she wants to be with be me. I cannot let Cayenne get to her, even though they've been together practically since forever. Both of them are known to the whole world as siblings, so let that be just that.

What will I do if I lose Ciel? I don't know. I'll probably lose my mind, get into a terrible fit of anger, and do terrible things. I've seen my father in that state before. Like a madman on a killing spree.

Honestly, Ciel is all I have now. And the band, but it is co-founded by Cayenne. If I lose love and music, I have nothing else to my name. What will be left to the Chevaliers will be... emptiness.

damien0 at 02:32|PermalinkComments(0)TrackBack(0)

April 12, 2008

Too skinny now

I think living in Singapore has made me forget Japanese language... somehow. I forgot what 'skinny' is in Japanese, so that's why I wrote my subject in English.
But that is fine, right? I mean, I was born and bred in England.

Back to the subject. Ever since I came to Singapore, I've been eating less and exercising less. It's not that I'm lazy or anything; I used to go for jogs with Ciel back in Japan, but now she doesn't jog or run anymore. In fact, she has been looking listless since I touched down. Makes me wonder is she's thinking about Cayenne all the time

So now I'm as skinny as Cayenne. And yet that sicko Rui demanded a photoshoot with the clothes I came in. HOLY SHIT. That woman is as crazy as Kawamura-sensei.

I do admit that I love how the pictures came out, but I'm not so thrilled that she had to photograph me at one of my most unglamorous times.

I am now officially a student of the visual art academy Rui's in. At first the Head of Department was a little hesitant when I said I didn't come with a portfolio, but when I explained to him my circumstances and that I was a student at Sakurazawa Fashion Academy, he started to gain a little interest in me. A few hours later, I was done with the interview and I was given the green light.

As for that Vivienne girl, I told her that we would consider her application and could only reply her end May. You know what she said? She said she's coming to Singapore by end May. "I don't care if you agree to accept me or not, I'm coming to Singapore and that's final," she said in her email. What the hell. I've got my hands full with the women here already.

Maybe she has another motive for coming here?

damien0 at 23:36|PermalinkComments(0)TrackBack(0)

April 04, 2008


c0466c5c.jpgI am finally in Singapore. The trip was long and arduous, but now I'm sitting right next to Ciel and typing this. Being with er is like living a dream. A dream that I've fulfilled, and loving it.

I arrived on the 1st of April. I thought it was a practical joke played on me by God, but I lost all my luggage. I can't believe this! I've filed a claim with the airport; I hope I get back all my belongings. There are some things I brought here that belong to Ciel and Cayenne.

Speaking of Cayenne, that twerp was not the least excited about my coming here. He was holding Ciel in his arms when I saw them, and when she almost knocked me over with a big hug, Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he was frowning. Why? What?

I've been here for almost three days now, and every minute is godsent. Ciel has been sleeping beside me for the past few days (Rui convinced Cayenne to give up his bedding with Ciel and sleep with her instead). It almost feels like we're back in Japan. We're back to living together, sleeping together, eating together. It's almost utopia, if it weren't for the hot sweltering heat that engulfs Singapore and Cayenne's tendency to disrupt my private time with my girlfriend.

Also, my application to Rui's school has been approved. I'm to go to an interview with a Head of Department on Tuesday. Why, I don't know, but Rui told me that they interview their prospective students because they want to get to know more about them and look through their portfolio. Sounds resonable. I don't have much of a portfolio because of my missing luggage, but I'll give all I have then.

On a side note, I replied that Vivienne girl's emails. She sent me a sample of her vocals, and one word came to mind: GOBSMACKINGLY GLORIOUS. She has a voice of an angel. But I didn't, and can't tell her that we're going to accept her. Cayenne that cad said HE LOST HIS GUITAR WHEN HE CAME TO SINGAPORE. A Fender Stratocaster at that! Damn thing is very expensive right now!

Seems like our band is spiralling downwards...

damien0 at 15:28|PermalinkComments(0)TrackBack(0)