only one day left

today is sunday,...
so it is only one day left ;__;
on tuesday I'll go to berlin and on wednesday I'll fly to dublin ._.
I'm afraid..
I hope everything will be alright there..
I don't want to sleep with other people in one room, but we have to... for one or two days I think...
><'
I get bad dreams of this!! ><
well... we will see

actually I feel a bit sad... and alone...
I hope that we meet some people in irland, so I can make new friends ^^

I'm looking forward to go to a few concerts, two in january

So,
I may write some blog entries,
I'm sure to be online sometimes on myspace
here you go: myspace.com/yami_brokendoll

I hope you are all doing fine.
I won't forget you, my dears

thanks for reading <3

love, yami

hello

hello my dears,
I'm back again.
there wasn't much I could talk about so I didn't write^^
last thing I've written was the tegan and sara concert.
well, weeks are over.. and nothing is happened.
on 17th october I'll fly to ireland.. I've already told..
so... my boyfriend and I broke up .. because I have had problems with this relationship... I think I still like girls more ûu..
that's bad from me.. I shouldn't say such things..
well.. ok, now it's over but we are good friends. he was here for 1-2 weeks after that and today he is going to the army .___.'
I hope he will be fine ;___;
I'm alone now.. and sad..

well.. on wednesday I'll meet katja and jasmin ... a last time I think..
friday bowling..

ok, boring things. I'll write when I'm in ireland or something..

soap bubbles

... while the concert <3

ireland

every day, the fly to ireland approches, the preparations for the journey become more..
well... today we have looked for the cases.. only 15kg... it's not much
I would like to pack my things now and fly tomorrow XD.. then it's over! ha!
I become more nervous every day, it's strange .___.

actually I'm drawing a picture from tegan and sara on my wall ._. sara is difficult to draw *laughs* but I think I've got it now^^
I'll make a photo when it's ready.

I've uploaded a photo I've done now^^ I love her <3

well, thanks for reading

tegan and sara

hi,
sorry, there was a very long time I didn't write
well...
there are some things changing.

on 17th october I'll go with akii to ireland and we will work there for 9 months ^^ I'm nervous but I'm looking forward to a good time^^

on 24th august, so - last friday - we were on a concert from tegan and sara. it was so awesome! I love the way the both sang together... e.g. "are you ten years ago" was sooo great!
you have to support them by buying their albums >w< yes!!
^^
And here I'll make it for real XDDD
I LOVE SARA <33
sorry xD I'm saying this all the time <3
I would like to meet sara someday... but for sure it's impossible... sadly ;____;..

I'm uploading a photo akii made by the concert because my photos I can only put on my computer at home... here I can't ;.; ...
well...
hope to get some comments

love ya all x3 baii

digicam

aah~ actually I try to buy a digitalcamera~
but it's so expensive!!! ><'

but how could I improve my photographic-skills when I don't have a good camera? ;_____;

I want a nikon xD...

what's new

hi~

Long time ago since my last entry, ne?
But there isn't much happened �o..
My mother and my grandma have had birthday last week..
So there was the whole family here O_o'
I hate this...

Because of akii I love Tegan and sara XD
and I'll go to their concert on 24th august <3
but at first miyavi will play on 29th july in bonn �o..
yesh~ thats all xD

Actually I feel like... hm.. I dunno.. I would like to take my clothes and things and move away without a plan...
I want to go with akii to ireland .. yesterday I've talked with her about this. but... I would prefer to search a job there, she wants to work on a farm xD... ok.. I think I could do this for a half year... but to find myself it would be the best to search my own way.. I don't now. I would be afraid but it's ok... I think I would stay alive |D... and in the end I could go back to my darlin. sure sure - when I'm away for a year... that's not easy for us... but I'm sure we will manage this, too. and he could visit me, too...~

yes... my plans are written in the stars.. I don't know..
we will see what will happen~...

see you

<3

he has got the joooob!!! <3
he jumped 2,36meters from 1,95m

now I'll be a year in an foreign country xD

rain

here is still thursday
it's already late at night,
11.13pm...
but I'm not tired, so I was thinking...
let's write again.

I've took this picture while the rain was stopping for a short time.
Today the rain fell down nearly the whole day.
I love the sound of the falling rain drops outside...
but everytime when I'm hearing this...
I don't know what I should do...
maybe this is the reason for me to sit on the desk and wach the rain falling down.

I'm a bit nervous because of tomorrow...
Only a few minutes and the next 8 years are planned... O_o...
when my boyfriend get the job.. we have to stay for 8 years here in germany.. on only one place... I'm sure I'd go away in another country for a year or so if that happens... but that's also bad for us... so we can't see us... of course v.v... *sigh*

Today I've seen the first cd of nana movie 2 ... but without subtitles... everyone wish it but nobody sub this movie!!! ><'
god... T_T... and nakashima mika is that beautiful... it's fightend... =_=~

well... maybe I'm writing tomorrow whats happend...

so go sleep now! ><
|D...

good night

freetime

my exams are over now.
I passed all with more or less good results.
Now I'm really glad about this, I didn't think I would get this in first time...
but now it's over.
I don't know what my future brings...
on friday I'll now how long my boyfriend will stay near karlsruhe, and that's a kind of guideline...

when I'm alone, even so, when my boyfriend is away for a moment or so, I feel bad...
I don't know, in this time I'm going back to the feelings I've had before we were together and when I'm looking in the mirror I'm hating the face I see.
I don't like the person I am now...
I'm lazy, I'm looking horrible, I'm not as nice as I want to to my boyfriend u.u ...

something goes wrong actually...
and now I have time to think about myself,
I'll do my best to grow up and become someone better...
I don't want to hate me anymore.

I often have to think on the time I wanted to kill myself...
in this time miya... my first love came in my life.
this was the first time I really wanted to live for something and I enjoyed it.
After leaving me, I was more broken than before...
some people hold me on, to live...
but nobody was able to change me.
Of course I don't want people to change me, but in a bad kind I changed me in the last months.
I don't want to loose my boyfriend, but I also don't want to live like this anymore...
Do you know?

If you find someone you love, isn't there everytime one side of you, you have to take a special look for. the side which shouldn't change?
I don't know how I could express |D...

no matter, ...

I hope I'll never hear from friends "I want to die" in an serious way, I already feel bad enough, when a friend feels bad and I have no money to travel to him, but damn??? what should I do???? I'm hear for you!!! I'm everytime there for my friend as much as I can, and when somebody says "I want to die" I know I have had to do something better... much better....
what's this? why people are so weak that they want to die, but nobody wants to talk about this?
One year ago, the time, I said the same things, I didn't came along with my live, the time befor miya came in my life I saw all as wasted time, what is the reason for being here and such things, and as she left me, of course, the same thinking with a bad argument. but don't come friends to be there for you again and again? don't you enjoy your time with them??? and don't come new friends, too? even if some other friends go?... I have to say.. I also hate friends which are going away... but also they are helping us to find a new reason to live...

I can't imagine anymore... I don't know...



I really have written to much now, I'll stop it...

rain falls down the whole time, when the sun comes out again I can go to the open-air swimming-pool ^^

so, think about your life and your friends~

I'm there for you, but you have to talk to me...